Failing Words
by yukuro
Summary: After Shishido graduates from junior high, Ohtori struggles through his last year, seemingly drifting farther and farther away from the person he learns is most important. [OhtorixShishido]


**Disclaimer:** I don't want to be sued and I know you don't want to sue me because…you don't want to?

**Pairing:** OhtorixShishido

Failing Words

by: yukuro

"We may not see each other everyday anymore, but nothing will change."

Ohtori Chotarou constantly thought of this promise as he walked glumly through the halls of Hyotei Gakuen. Life as a third year was hardly tolerable. Ohtori had always dreaded this year. Being a third year meant that Shishido had gone to high school.

At the previous third years' graduation, Ohtori felt as he if were the only one there feeling unbearably sad. Shishido had happily graduated with his fellow classmates without a care in the world. By the time he had rushed over to speak with his doubles partner, Ohtori had already plastered on his biggest smile he could manage for the other boy. He could suffer behind his smile as long as Shishido was unaware of it.

"High school already," Shishido breathed, running a hand through his slowly lengthening hair. His eyes were directed at the sky as he spoke. "Everything seems like it's moving too quickly."

"I guess it was inevitable, Shishido-san," Ohtori had said, unable to pull his eyes away from the ground. He would never let Shishido know he was sad. The older boy would most definitely also become sad, and that was the last thing Ohtori wanted. "The future is finally starting to catch up with you."

Shishido stood in silence as the others around him laughed merrily and cheerfully congratulated each other for finally getting out of middle school. At that moment, the older boy's previous excitement had faded. Middle school may have been just another stage in life, but it still held its memories and important people. Closing his eyes, Shishido sighed.

"Chotarou," he began again, a small, crooked smile appearing on his face again. "We may not see each other everyday anymore, but nothing will change. We'll still be friends and see each other on weekends…and we'll definitely still play tennis together, right?"

Ohtori was unsure if older boy was saying such things to reassure himself or making a promise. Either way, he could never face Shishido with a sad expression. It would make everything far more painful than their smiles could hide. Smiling as best he could, Ohtori agreed, "Aa. Definitely, Shishido-san."

That time seemed so far away now, even though it really was not too long ago. Ohtori joined the tennis club again, just as he had last year. The difference was that the club no longer had Atobe as the captain, but Hiyoshi instead.

Hiyoshi always worked the members as hard as he could, doing his best to make Hyotei the best. Ohtori had figured that Hiyoshi was doing so for the best of the club, but apparently, no one else seemed to think so. Hiyoshi was always alone, but Ohtori was unable to do anything about it. After all, he was also always alone.

Plenty of people liked him. Ohtori was always kind to everyone so everyone around him instantly liked him. Even while this was true, he still felt alone. Whenever Shishido was not there, he would always feel alone.

The more school days passed, the busier both would be. Both put in their best effort to meet as often as possible on weekends, but both were often rushed with schoolwork. From that April until summer, Ohtori always spent his days alone.

They met a few times, though. Sometimes at the street tennis court or running into each other in the city. Ohtori knew Shishido was as popular as ever in high school. Ohtori knew this because each time he saw him, Shishido was never alone.

Although he should have been happy to see Shishido those rare times, Ohtori could only feel terrible. In truth, nothing mattered to him since Shishido always greeted him with a kind smile. That was not the matter that bothered Ohtori though.

Shishido's friends always teased him mercilessly. Each time Ohtori would politely say a simple "good afternoon" to Shishido, the older boy's high school friends would instantly butt in. Their taunts varied from, "Shishido, is that middle schooler following you around again?" to "Shishido! Your middle school dog is here to see you again!"

It was painful to hear such words even though each time they were uttered, Shishido would instantly rise to Ohtori's defense, angrily telling his high school friends off. What was the difference of a single year's difference? Shishido had always exclaimed with an irritated expression. Those who were older should be kind, not rude. After all, it makes the older ones more childish for picking on younger people.

Ohtori always admired how strong Shishido was. He could always take any insult thrown at him and make it seem as if it were as insignificant as a speck. Ohtori admired that strength because he seemed unable to defend himself. Whatever the older boys said, he would simply stand there and take it. It made him feel special whenever Shishido stood up for him, but the feeling faded away once he noticed Shishido's constantly distressed expression afterwards.

"You don't always have to do that," Ohtori said rather timidly after Shishido scowled under his breath at his friends one particular day. "They're your friends. I guess they're just worried is all."

"Jerks will be jerks even if they are friends," Shishido stated stonily. His eyes sharply followed his friends moving about the street tennis courts. Closing his eyes, he sighed. "If they really were my friends, they would understand that you're my friend too."

It made Ohtori happy to hear those words, but the situation was still unchanged. He managed to smile for Shishido on the outside, but on the inside, something was being crushed with guilt.

Shishido sighed inwardly. He had always been able to tell whatever Ohtori was feeling, and this time was no different. As much as he wanted to reassure the younger boy again, he had to let Ohtori grow some more. Grinning, he handed Ohtori his racquet. "Come on, Chotarou. Let's go show them why we were doubles one last year!"

Words failed him when he saw Shishido's cheerful smile, and the only thing Ohtori could do was respond with an energetic, "Hai!"

For now, things would have to do with the way they were. It was impossible to change the world in a day, after all. Ohtori would continue to let the days pass the way they were because there was nothing else he could do.

On those days Ohtori spent alone, those days that he saw nothing more than steps towards summer when he could freely see Shishido again, Ohtori had to wonder if Shishido felt the same way. Did he also count the days until they could meet again, or wonder how they could meet at all? Probably not, Ohtori decided as he stared up at the sky. He always knew that Shishido hated dwelling on the past. But did that mean that Shishido would forget him as well?

At school, Ohtori acted cheerful and always said "hello" back to everyone who spoke to him first. He always acted cheerful and smiled as he walked down the halls until it became lunchtime and he was sitting by himself again. One day when Ohtori went around the school building to find a place to eat, he came across Hiyoshi eating alone.

Before he had even thought it through, Ohtori asked, "Do you mind if I eat with you?"

Hiyoshi frowned slightly for a moment before letting his foul expression drop. "If you want to," he mumbled awkwardly.

So Ohtori sat with him that day and every day afterwards. It was really out of habit before Ohtori had realized it had become a routine. Most of the time, they spent their time in silence, but there were a few times were they would quietly talk about whatever came to mind. Before Ohtori had even noticed, Hiyoshi had become a good friend.

"Were you always so quiet whenever he wasn't around?" Hiyoshi asked one day for no particular reason.

How Ohtori had known that Hiyoshi was speaking of Shishido and why Hiyoshi was even asking was completely unknown. Ohtori closed his eyes and leaned back against the wall, muttering quietly, "Probably. Why do you ask?"

Hiyoshi remained silent for a moment before responding simply, "Don't let obstacles get in the way of your ambitions. Those people that keep trying to get in your way are just tests, so don't be effected by them."

Silently, Ohtori wondered what Hiyoshi was trying to say, but didn't bother to ask. He had the feeling that while the advice given to him now puzzled him, it would probably make perfect sense later. "Thanks."

---

Ohtori was out shopping for the tennis club with Hiyoshi when he ran into them. It was the first time he had run into Shishido's high school friends without Shishido being with them. That was the problem that somehow made him nervous.

"Hey, isn't that Shishido's pet middle schooler over there?"

Ohtori stiffened slightly, but remained rooted to the spot outside of the tennis shop where he was waiting for Hiyoshi. Unsure of what else to do, Ohtori bowed politely, letting out a soft, "Konnichiwa."

"Shishido isn't with us today," one of the boys said coldly, stating the obvious.

"Yeah," another interjected, "that lucky guy got asked out by that really hot third year, Nishizu-senpai."

Upon hearing those words, Ohtori stiffened again. This time it was painful obvious, and the high school boys snickered at his reaction.

"What's wrong?" the first boy asked again, almost sneering. "Shocked? Shishido is really popular, you know. He has tons of girls that all like him, so he'll probably be really busy with dates from now on. Why would he spend time with a little middle schooler when he could spend all his time surrounded by pretty girls?"

Ohtori stared at the ground, his face slightly flushed. He knew all of this. He knew Shishido was popular and he knew that everyone liked him. Even so, why was it so painful to listen to this?

"Don't think we don't know about your ridiculous little crush on Shishido. That's so sick. Stupid middle schooler, go find a stupid little girl in your own grade and quit harassing our friend. He has enough admirers without you tagging along. It's embarrassing for him to be seen with you anyway."

Those mean words and insults were swirling in Ohtori's head in a cloud of confusion until someone's sharp voice snapped him back to reality.

"You bastards have a problem here?" Hiyoshi asked icily, stepping out of the store with glaring eyes. "Or would you like your asses kicked by another 'stupid middle schooler?'"

The high school students exchanged glares with Hiyoshi before retreating down the street, muttering curses as they went.

"Hey," Hiyoshi said sharply, making Ohtori blink out of his trance. Closing his eyes, his tone softened a tone. "Let's go back before it starts to get dark."

They walked in silence for a while before Ohtori spoke up, "Thanks again, Hiyoshi."

"Don't worry about it," Hiyoshi replied simply, his passive expression unwavering the slightest bit. "I hate it when the strong misuse their strength."

More silence came between them when Ohtori muttered again in secret insecurity, "What if they were right? What if I do like Shishido-san? Is that really so sick?"

"That's none of my business," Hiyoshi responded quietly as always. "You're the only one who can overcome the obstacles on the way to your ambition."

Suddenly, the words that were spoken to him a while ago were remembered and Ohtori nodded in realization. At that time, there was nothing he could do about it, so he simply kept walking ahead slowly.

Days continued to pass by and soon, Ohtori had forgotten about meeting Shishido's friends, even though some of their words were still imprinted in his mind. He was still in a daze when a girl from his class confessed to him.

Standing there awkwardly before the girl, all that was on Ohtori's mind was Shishido. "I'm sorry," he said vaguely. "I'm really not worthy."

"Not worthy?" the girl laughed slightly. She seemed to be a bit sad, but she faced the situation with a smile. "That's too harsh of a way to put it, Ohtori-kun. You're always so kind and I like you for it, but if you don't like me, all you have to do is say so."

"I'm sorry," Ohtori apologized again, slightly embarrassed.

"Don't apologize," the girl said with a soft smile. "Nee, Ohtori-kun. Just between you and me, is there someone you already like? Does Ohtori-kun have a crush? I promise not to tell. I just…want to know."

It was the second time someone mentioned the word "crush" to him and it was the second time Ohtori blushed because of it. He knew that most people had a pretty girl whose smile was perfect and was always cute as a crush, but he was different. When someone mentioned the word "crush" to him, his heart would pound loudly and he could only think of Shishido. "I think…that maybe I do…"

"Oh…I see…" the girl said slowly. Her smile was sad but completely sincere. "Good luck with that person, Ohtori-kun. I just know that person will be happy to have you."

As the girl's footsteps faded down the hall, Ohtori's eyes grew glassy with slight fear. Quietly, he whispered to himself, "I only hope so too."

Time sped up again without Ohtori noticing. It was not until the last tournament before summer vacation did Ohtori see Shishido again. Ohtori had come back, exhausted after his match to find Shishido smiling proudly at him from the bleachers. Simply seeing him made Ohtori freeze.

"Nice match, Chotarou," Shishido said, sounding sincerely proud. "You get better every time I watch."

"S-Shishido-san…"

Frowning at the younger boy's obvious lack of excitement, Shishido walked down until he stood at the same level as Ohtori. His frown deepened when Ohtori let his eyes stray to the ground. In a flash after seeing how nervous Ohtori was, his frown disappeared and turned into concern. "What's wrong, Chotarou? Not happy to see me?"

"N-No!" Ohtori blurted out before he could stop himself. His face turned slightly flushed when his teammates turned to stare at him. "It's just that…aren't you ashamed to be seen with me?"

Shishido raised an eyebrow for a moment before grabbing the younger boy's arm and pulling him up towards the top of the bleachers to get away from the crowd. "Who told you that?" he demanded as they went. "That's so stupid, I can't believe you would think that!"

"But don't you have a lot of admirers?" Ohtori went on, despair in his voice as he was dragged. "You're in high school now and…there are girls that are chasing you, right?"

After pulling them away from the crowd, Shishido felt his face heat up slightly before he frowned and resisted his urge to punch those stupid friends of his who told Ohtori such rubbish. "Did those no-good friends of mine tell you all that? Honestly, Chotarou. Who do you believe? Those idiots or me?"

"Of course you!" Ohtori exclaimed without hesitation before becoming embarrassed again. "I just thought…since you were always busy on dates and…"

"Dates?" Shishido looked confused. "What dates? I haven't been on any dates."

"E…eh?" Ohtori looked equally confused. "But your friends said you were on a date with someone named Nishizu-san last time…"

"Nishizu?" Shishido looked thoughtful for a moment as if trying to remember. "Oh right, Nishizu-senpai. Don't be stupid, Chotarou! That wasn't a date. She asked me to help her with her serve! She's in the girls tennis club. Besides, my friends are idiots. What do they know?"

Shishido sighed and ran a hand through his lengthening hair. "Damn, no wonder you've been ignoring me lately."

Those words caught Ohtori off-guard. "Ignoring? I haven't been ignoring you, Shishido-san. I haven't even seen you in a long time."

"Really? But I've gone to every one of the club's tennis matches since school started. You never saw me?"

Ohtori felt embarrassed. "Iya… Sorry, Shishido-san. I guess I was kind of caught up in the game or distract somehow. If I had known…"

"That's just like you, Chotarou," Shishido said softly, his eyes becoming gentle. "You're always so kind. Still, don't be so kind that you'd let those jerks pick on you. You know you're my important friend."

Suddenly, Ohtori felt warm with happiness and just as he always felt before Shishido, words failed him again. The only thing he could mutter was a quiet, "Thank you."

Grinning, Shishido said with a wave, "I've got to go now, but congratulations on your match today. When you come to high school with me, be sure you join the tennis club. I'll wait for you."

After their last meeting, Ohtori went through the last few days of school before summer cheerfully and spent the summer playing tennis and training with Shishido just as if they had gone one year back in time. Summer passed by in a flash, but Ohtori was able to go through the remaining autumn and winter terms of school quickly as well. The very thought of joining up with Shishido again made his last year of middle school much easier. Then, when graduation came, Ohtori stood with Hiyoshi among the rest of his classmates

"Have you gotten there yet?" Hiyoshi asked simply. He never spoke very much, but Ohtori always understand what he was trying to say. "Your ambition."

"Almost," Ohtori responded, smiling sincerely cheerfully. "See you in high school, Hiyoshi."

Hiyoshi nodded and they graduated from middle school.

---

Shishido's friends were not exactly happy when Ohtori joined them at their school, but Shishido was more than happy to welcome the younger boy in. Shishido was still as popular as ever with everyone in school and people easily became jealous of Ohtori who was always by Shishido's side. It suddenly felt like middle school all over again. Only one matter was unresolved.

"How do you like high school so far?" Shishido asked before flopping onto his bed. His family had gone out, so he invited Ohtori over to study.

"Not exactly like middle school," Ohtori noted, tapping his pencil on the textbook he had open. "I'm in the same class as Hiyoshi though."

"Hiyoshi?" Shishido yawned. "Ask him to eat lunch with us next time. Wouldn't want him to be hanging around all alone again like in middle school."

Ohtori smiled at his homework. "Everyone always says I'm kind, but I always knew Shishido-san is even more."

"What're you talking about?" Shishido muttered sleepily. "You're definitely the one with the world's largest heart. You couldn't pass by a box of abandoned puppies without taking them home."

Laughing with a slight tinge of a blush, Ohtori looked up at the bed where the older boy lay. Shishido had closed his eyes and looked ready to fall asleep. Heart pounding, Ohtori crawled over to very gently sweep his lips across the older boy's before pulling away in embarrassment.

"Why so embarrassed, Chotarou?" Shishido asked, eyes still closed.

"Aren't you angry?" Ohtori asked fearfully.

Cracking an eye open, Shishido examined him before smiling. "Of course not. You've always been my important friend."

Unable to bear it any longer, Ohtori leaned over and kissed the older boy harder with more pent-up passion and frustration. Everything else in the world was forgotten as he hovered over Shishido to kiss him more. When their lips finally parted for air, Ohtori gasped out in despair, "I like you, Shishido-san! Please don't be angry! I like you… I…"

Shishido silenced him by putting a finger up to his lips. "I know, I always have, and it's alright. I'm not angry, baka. What made you think that? Touch me, kiss me, whatever you want. It's alright because it's you."

It only occurred now to Ohtori that the words he had so carefully treasured when Shishido had graduated were completely false. Everything changed from then, but it still felt the same.

"Didn't I tell you I'd wait for you?" Shishido asked with a grin, playfully knocking on Ohtori's head.

Then, again, just as always, words failed him and all Ohtori could do was smile and mutter, "Hai."

Owari.

--- ---

**A/N:** Whew. It feels good to have a burst of inspiration after writer's block. Plus I've been inactive for a while, huh? Anyway, fic comments! For a minute while I was writing the middle section, I kept getting the feeling it was turning into OhtorixHiyoshi! Anyone else get that feeling? Lol.

Well, it was fun to write this fic. Ohtori-kun and Shishido-kun are so fluffy in canon, I couldn't take it and wrote this. I do have a soft spot for them anyway.

Thanks for reading!


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